Tuesday, January 10th, 2012 at
7:39 pm
I have a 2 year old girl and a 7 week old girl. Since the new baby was born 7 weeks ago, my 2 year old has had these rageful tantrums off and on all day every day. I know it’s probably jealousy and some insecurity but I am careful to give her lots of attention. I ask her to help me with the new baby which she does. I spend as much time with her as possible. I don’t know what else to do to avoid these fits and not sure how to handle them when they happen. She throws things, hits me and screams. It’s usually over something small then she can’t calm herself down. I usually just sit with her quietly and don’t show any reaction until she’s finished. But the problem is I get up every morning dreading the day with these screaming tantrums all day. I keep thinking the way she screams, if the neighbors hear her they might even think she is being hurt and call the police. That’s how hysterical she gets. What can I do to keep them from happening so much or is this just something I need to wait for her to grow out of? she would have the occasional tantrum but since her new sister was born, they are daily!
Friday, January 6th, 2012 at
7:13 pm
So my daughter is 2 and just had her first public tantrum at gymnastics which she normal loves. But today just didn’t want to do it. My question is how do moms deal with your toddlers having tanturms without spanking it doesn’t work. I’m know terrible 2s but I don’t want her to be 5 doing this!
Monday, November 14th, 2011 at
8:05 pm
Mary asks…
Why is my toddler hitting her head?
I have a 2 year old daughter and over the last year when she gets mad she hits her head on the floor or on a table..I am so confused and don’t know what to do. I’ve tried telling her not to do it but she still does it. She has been throwing so many temper tantrums lately. It’s WWII trying to wash her hair or for her to get dressed. And if she gets her hands on something, if you try to take it away SHE SCREAMS FOR FOREVER!
Please help i don’t know what to do
admin answers:
My toddler does that exact same thing…I asked the pediatrician why and she said its all about the attention….walk away and they will get over it. My son would start a temper tantrum and I would walk away.. I would leave the room and he would follow me into the other room and then throw himself on the floor to continue his tantrum. I told our ped. About this and she laughed and said my oh my…he is a very smart boy. Lol
just walk away from her and best of luck!
P.s.
If she isn’t doing it hard enough to hurt herself dint worry mamma! But if she is banging hard…make her a appt at her pediatrician and discuss it!
Nancy asks…
8 year old having a temper tantrum? is this usual?
my daughter and her younger sister were playing outside with their friend, well the friend gave my younger daughter a pencil sharpener (it was pink and pretty) my older daughter (she’s 
got extremely upset by this because she felt left out, she has tons of pencil sharpeners but she wanted this particular one she started screaming like she’d been hurt, refusing to come indoors to talk to me, a completely out of control temper tantrum followed which lasted for a good hour, she’s usually quite mature for her age and i can’t understand why she reacted like this over something so trivial? I’ve tried speaking to her to see if she has anything she’s worried about or if she has anything she’d like to talk to me about and she just said she was angry because she wanted the sharpener, does it sound like she has other issues i need to get to the bottom of or could it just be that she lost her temper and didn’t know how to control herself? how should i deal with it if it happens again? she used to do this sort of thing when he was a toddler but hasn’t for years it was totally out of the blue.
admin answers:
Thwarted wants can bring temper tantrums out in the best of us. And your daughter is no exception. Just let her calm down and when she is calm have a word with her again to ensure everything is alright. However if she starts doing this all the time then I would be concerned and find out if something is going on in school.
Lisa asks…
Seriously parents, why in the world would you bring a little kid to Disneyland?
So last month my family and I went to Disneyland. Most of the trip was fun except for the extreme nuisance of little children (about 5 and under). Sure, there was the few families of children who were quite, and the very rare who were actually giggling and having a good time, but the majority of children from 5 years to infancy threw the most incredible tempertantrums, screamed on top of their lungs, nonstop crying, and overall were on anything but good behavior.
I’ve only gone to Disneyland twice, once when I was 9 and my brother was 7, and last month when I was 16 and my brother was 14.
But my family and I do not understand why families couldn’t wait until:
1. Their child was past the screaming, crying, temper-tantrum stage
2. Their child was tall enough to go on most if not all the rides
3. Their child was old enough to enjoy the rides, shows, parades, and people in costume without being too scared.
And most importantly:
4. They were old enough to remember going on a trip to Disneyland.
Even when I was 9 I could only remember the most funnest rides, but I couldn’t imagine how a baby or a toddler could remember going to Disneyland. I think to make disneyland the most special vacation you’d want to go without being stressed out about taking care of your kids when they’re throwing temper tantrums or too scared on the rides or have to wait outside the lines with them because they’re not old enough or tall enough to go on the rides.
To me it was a lot funner going as a teenager because I can remember everything and I was a lot more appreciative of going to Disneyland and spending time with my family. So why would you take your little kid to Disneyland?
PetMom: I’m not saying all the children their were horrible, but everywhere we went their were kids throwing temper-tantrums and crying all day.
No, my brother and I don’t ask for much. We’re pretty well-mannered for teenagers. It was the only vacation we could go on before senior year, and my parents didn’t want to take us out of school while I was a senior.
admin answers:
My husband and I took our children when they were three and five. We stayed for six days and planned our days so that the children had plenty of down time and were not exhausted or over stimulated. It was a very memorable trip and they both still talk about it six years later. It was the best family trip we have ever had and we are planning on doing it again in the near future.
My husband was military at the time. Due to the state of world affairs, he’d only been home twelve weeks in two and a half years. When he found out he was coming home for two weeks R&R, we looked into the deals Disney was offering. It was a wonderful experience as it took us all away from the worries of our all too real life at that point time. We were able to enjoy each others company far from the problems of our day to day lives.
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Sunday, November 13th, 2011 at
7:12 pm
My daughter is almost 16 months, on the 7th. Every now and then she will throw a tantrum, that lasts 15 – 20 minutes, when you tell her no she can’t have something. This has only recently started about a month ago. When she is going through this absolutely nothing will work to get her to calm down. I try picking her up, she cries harder, she throws herself on the ground and kicks and screams. If you look at her, she screams. So, I have learned to just ignore her when she does this, but when I ignore her I feel bad.
Did your baby/toddler go through this too?
Did they get better as they got older?
I don’t want to put her in her crib/room because I don’t want crying/tantrums associated with sleeping.
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Saturday, October 15th, 2011 at
8:05 pm
Daniel asks…
Toddler temper?
I’m so confused with my daughter she doesn’t have temper tantrums that last very long but she doesn’t listen, she talks back, if i tap her hand it doesn’t even phase her, time outs don’t phase her either. And I must admit my husband and I are full of empty promises. She doesn’t eat her meals, and she use to have access to all the food in the house I just recently put a lock on the pantry but she still can get into the fridge which mostly has healthy food. It is getting a little ridiculous. When she gets angry I don’t think she knows what to do how to get rid of the feeling. She is only 3 and I’m scared cause it is only going to get worse. PLEASE HELP
My dad suggest something as simple as putting her to bed earlier which we are going to try. My dad also said he pitty’s the kids she goes to school with we have had no bad comments from her teacher but who knows it may only be a matter of time. I’m also thinking she may have picked up some of these bad habits from school
admin answers:
Have you tried to just ignore her when she starts a tantrum? Try just walking into another room and dont say a word to her. Sometimes they do this stuff for the attention and when she gets attention from tantrums even if its negative attention she learns that it works. So when she is behaving badly dont give her the attention she is tryn to get. Also maaby you can try to reward her for good behavior some pep think its bad to bribe the kids but hey if it works do it. Make a chart on the wall for each day of the week. And say to her ok if you get 3 stickers you can have an extra bedtime story or sumething she really likes. When she is being good let her put a sticker on her chart but when she starts a tantrum make her take a sticker away.
As for how to help her express her anger try getting her some soft pillows and teach her to hit the pillows when she is mad. She can take the angry inside of her and release it on the pillows.
Lizzie asks…
Can you get evicted for crying babies and toddlers throwing temper tantrums?
We live in an apartment with very thin walls. Could we get evicted if our baby cries a lot (like if he is sick in the middle of the night or something)? What if our 2 year old throws temper tantrums at 7:30am or some such hour?
Yes, I did read the rental agreement, thank you.
No, the toddler does no damage…just to eardrums 
Thank you for your answers, I appreciate it 
admin answers:
The fair housing act does not allow discrimination based upon family or children. However, if your tantrum throwing child causes damage, that could be a different story.
Maria asks…
which one of the following repsonses is the best way to handle a toddler’s temper tantrum?
a. firmly but gently tell the child to settle down, and offer a favorite food as a reward if he or she will stop crying.
b. isolate the child to keep other children safe, and make it clear to the child that only babies have temper tantrums.
c. tantrums are unacceptable behavior in a group care setting; call the parents to pick the child up immediately.
d. keep the child from hurting himself or herself and others, stay close, and talk to the child about strong feelings when tantrum is over.
admin answers:
D is the closest to how we handle tantrums. The best way for me is to tell them that what they are doing is “not OK” and help them to a quiet place away from everyone and where they cannot harm themselves explain to them that they need to stay there until they are “under control” This will teach them that they will not get attention for what they are doing and teach them to get themselves under control all by their selves. They will soon realize that what everyone is doing is much more fun.
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Thursday, September 8th, 2011 at
9:36 am
My daughter just had a tantrum that lasted forty minutes straight. Where nothing would make her calm down. Is that normal? She’s 20 months.
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Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011 at
7:33 pm
So I’m 14 weeks pregnant and it seems like a risky pregnancy b/c I’ve been bleeding and spotting. The advice I have been given is to rest and to not stress, but my son is almost 2 and is throwing the worst tantrums of his life, which throws me into high stress…like say he wants to go outside and I’m not feeling well, he’ll throw a major screaming crying tantrum which stresses me out. I just end up having to put him in his room or something because I don’t know any other way to calm my own stress level down. How do you deal with this type of thing??!!
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Friday, August 19th, 2011 at
7:26 pm
I have a 17 month old daughter who we have admittedly spoiled to a point. I don’t mean that we’ve got a monster to tame. She is a normal 17 month old but recently she has started acting out physically when she gets angry. When she’s told ‘no’, she throws tantrums like many kids her age do. We generally ignore it or tell her ‘I’m sorry, but we are not going outside right now’ etc… and if she continues, we walk away from her and let her do her thing until she stops. Lately though, she has been getting aggressive. She will pinch our faces or pull hair, and if that doesn’t work she pulls her own hair. Now…I am not so worried about her pulling her own hair. She will figure out that it hurts and stop doing it, but I would like to know what you think about how we handle it when she is aggressive toward us. We are older parents but we both have grown children. None of them ever acted like this, so even though we have done this before, we don’t know if we’re handling the tantrum thing in the right way.
She IS only 17 months old, so…we have tried to analyze it and we think she does this because she doesn’t have the language skills to express what she really wants. She can be a very affectionate kid, and usually is…but she understands when we tell her no. So…when she does this, we usually peel her hands off of our faces or hair and tell her something like ‘No! You do NOT pinch daddy!’ and if she does it again, we treat it like any other tantrum and put her down and walk away. Recently though, she will follow us and continue to try to pinch our legs, and she will even find something on a shelf or basically anything in her reach, and throw it. She isn’t always a little tyrant, but this behaviour really isn’t acceptable. Two days ago, we started giving her a short ‘time out’. The first time, she sat for about 20 seconds and got up. My husband put her back and said ‘No, you sit there until daddy tells you to get up.’ I don’t know that she really understood the words, but she stayed there until he went to her and said ‘Are you ready to be nice?’ and allowed her to get up. I think she know’s about time out because her babysitter has a boy slightly older than her, who gets the occasional time out and she has seen it. She has had 3 time outs in the past two days and she seems to understand the threat to a point. If she starts being mean and we tell her she needs to stop or she will have a time out, she has actually been responding. What I want to know is…do you think she is too young for time out? We have been making her sit for probably close to a minute before we let her get up. Do you think she is actually ready for this, or are we deluding ourselves into thinking she is getting it? Any other suggestions for these tantrums that get ugly? And please don’t say spanking because we never spanked/hit our grown children and we aren’t going to start now (and for the record, they are all very responsible, productive, well rounded adults who did well in school and were never in trouble as teenagers.) Sorry, I felt I had to say that for those who think you can’t raise a decent person without hitting them. So…any thoughts?
Thanks in advance for your input!
Hi Grannie! The little boy does do the same things, but I’m not sure who taught it to whom. They’re close in age (he is 4 months older) so they’re both in the little power struggle stage. They fight over toys on occasion, and who gets to sit in what chair etc… and if they get frustrated with each other, they do pinch or pull each other’s hair until the babysitter has to intervene. They never really hurt each other, but the sitter has her hands full with two of them this age!
Hi Grannie! The little boy does do the same things, but I’m not sure who taught it to whom. They’re close in age (he is 4 months older) so they’re both in the little power struggle stage. They fight over toys on occasion, and who gets to sit in what chair etc… and if they get frustrated with each other, they do pinch or pull each other’s hair until the babysitter has to intervene. They never really hurt each other, but the sitter has her hands full with two of them this age!
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Thursday, August 18th, 2011 at
8:05 pm
Sharon asks…
Toddler temper tantrums?
I have a one year old son. He is so sweet and loving. I can’t imagine him throwing temper tantrums, but I know he probably will. Is it really that hard to deal with? What kind of things do they throw tantrums about, and how do you deal with it. I’m worried that he isn’t going to be my sweet little boy anymore.
admin answers:
They all throw tantrums. Its a development stage and the only way they can express control.
Avoid them if you can-give choices within limits whenever possible. As in this outfit or this (not what do you where in the entire closet).
React as little as possible to tantrums and don’t give in to them! Reacting and giving in shows the child that tantrums are a good way to get attention or what they want.
I simply let my daughter fling her self around and told her I would talk to her when she was finished. In public, we would go sit in the car until she was done. A pain but worth it in the long run. (she didn’t hit her brat phase until 3)
Toddlers also don’t have any concept of time BUT they don’t like to be told they have to do something right now. Think about it, you’re enjoying something and someone tells you to stop and leave right NOW. So give them warnings they can understand-two more times down the slide then we leave, when mommy’s done packing up, we need to do this now, etc.
Also learn to pick your battles. If you tell them to do something and the answer is no, understand that continuing will likely result in a tantrum. Is what you are asking worth it? For example, daughter didn’t want to wear her jacket in the winter. I said ok and took it with me. After about 5 minutes in the cold-she wanted the jacket. We both ‘won’ and there was no tantrum.
If he’s cranky before nap time, don’t tell him to pick up then. Try to gauge when his moods is and its best and worst and plan accordingly. I also found including my daughter in things made her feel in control and lessened the tantrums. Like folding laundry when I did. Yeah the towels wre more like rolled blobs then folded neat, but she was proud and felt important.
Ken asks…
Ways to deal with my toddler’s temper tantrums?
I have a daughter who just turned 3 last month and she’s begun throwing tantrums that are just becoming unbearable! I’ve tried just about every angle I can think of. I’ve tried everything from time outs to taking away things she loves until she stops and nothing seems to work very well. I put her in time out on the couch and she’ll continue throwing a tantrum for at least 10-15 minutes AFTER I set her down. Last night she threw a tantrum that lasted about a half hour. I’m at a loss. Does anyone have any other ideas that might make the tantrums a little less frequent and so they don’t last as long or more effective ways of punishment?
Serious answers only…PLEASE!
admin answers:
Ha!
My 4-year-old does the same thing still
i don’t give in to her tantrums
i walk away from her
when she cries, i’d ignore her
takes about 10 minutes
then she comes to me and would tell me
mommy i want to apologize now
she’d say her schpiel
“i love you mommy, i’m sorry, i’ll give you a hug, i’ll give you a kiss, friends?”
oh and talking to her like a german announcer helps too; my lil one loves it when i act goofy around her; she forgets her tantrums once i get silly with her.
Oh and my lil one loves to help me with laundry so i’d tell her that towels don’t like to be folded when she’s being mean to her mommy; this works all the time.
Just be creative with her.
Also, i reward her with stickers for good behavior.
She saves those stickers on a piece of paper, once she’s accumulated 20 stickers she’d redeem her stickers for one dollar. When she’s saved enough money for a soccer ball, then off we go to a target store.
Good luck.
Sandra asks…
HELP! Question about toddler temper tantrums/separation anxiety…?
My 20 month daughter has recently (this week for the first time) has major separation anxiety and horrible temper tantrums. I work full time but spend all of my available time with her. We do spend alot of quality time together reading, playing games or whatever and there have been no major changes in the household.
Recently when I pick her up from her grandmas house after work from that time on she’s clingy and won’t let me even walk in the other room, go to the bathroom or leave her without throwing herself on the ground,screaming and crying until she finally goes to sleep.She wants me to hold her constantly or she’ll throw a fit. The way I’ve been trying to deal with this is that I stoop down to her level and hold her and hug her and try to talk her through it to let her know that I love her and that I’m right there and then carry on to do what I was doing (folding clothes, dishes, etc.). I’ll do that several times throughout her tantrum, VERY calmly. It’s not working and I don’t know what else to do…Any advise would be helpful!~ Exhausted Mommy….
Denise, No, there is positively no change in our routine or household at all.
admin answers:
The only thing you can do is just do what you are doing, basically our behavior as parents will be reflected in how our tots behave. Let her tantrum, she will get over it and realize you are still there. Our almost 3 year old is going through the same thing and I am staying strong and letting her cry it out while I do the things I need to do. It gets frustrating as I can’t even exercise in a different room. I hold firm though and she eventually stops and gets busy with coloring, etc. I keep reminding her during a non tantrum time telling her that Mommy will never leave, but sometimes I have to and have to get stuff done, but will ALWAYS be back. She now is finally starting to understand that and cries a little if I have to leave or do something else and then she gets over it. I am a stay at home Mom, so our daughter by nature is very clingy to me. For the first time I had left her with someone and she cried and cried for a few minutes but then was fine when she saw how much fun she could have and when she saw me come back, she was delighted. I wouldn’t actually keep going back during your daughter’s tantrum, because you are still giving her attention and that’s what she wants. Give her something to do and walk away and do all your folding and dishes or whatever and don’t go back to her crying and let her go and get your stuff done. Just let her be. She’s still going through tantrums because you keep coming back even just to hug her. Let her cry, she will be ok!!! =)
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Monday, August 15th, 2011 at
9:37 am
Help! My 18 month old daughter has awful tempur tantrums. Shes a major head banger. When she gets upset with me the first thing she does is scream at me, hit her head against something, or pull her hair! Now, she only does it out of frustration or anger, not just randomly. So Im not too worried about it, I know that it is normal at her age. I just dont know how to handle it anymore! Or what to do when she does it! Most of the time I ignore it (thats what she wants is attention when she doesnt get her way) or put her in time out. It doesnt seem like anything is working at this point. I try keeping her occupied, stimulated (not over stimulated!!)..I mean, Im just out of ideas here! Had anyone else ever experienced this?! What did you do during the tantrum fits, head banging, etc? At what age did they settle down?! Heeeeelp!
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